But how do we foster confidence?

As a parent, we want the best for our children — now and at every moment and milestone of their lives. Many of us would like to live the Montessori philosophy at home. This may seem a bit daunting during the 4^th tantrum of the day, or another night arguing with an exhausted toddler, but each day a part of ensuring long-term success is raising a son or daughter who has confidence. Children who are confident about themselves and their ability to handle new experiences are more likely to handle life’s complexities with resilience. And a sense of competence and a can-do attitude will pay off in many ways as your son or daughter grows up and takes on life with enthusiasm. I found this wonderful article at PrimaryMontessori.com to share with you.

“Our care of the child should be governed, not by the desire to make him learn things, but by the endeavor always to keep burning within him that light which is called intelligence.” Maria Montessori

But how do we foster confidence? Between the Montessori classroom and home, confidence and independence may be built in varying ways.

1. Accepting individuality

One of the best ways for a parent to help a young child to develop a sense of confidence is to simply let the child be himself. Rather than trying to force your son or daughter to do things your way, encourage them as they As a parent, we want the best for our children — now and at every moment and milestone of their lives. Many of us would like to live the Montessori philosophy at home. This may seem a bit daunting during the 4th tantrum of the day, or another night arguing with an exhausted toddler, but each day a part of ensuring long-term success is raising a son or daughter who has confidence. Children who are confident about themselves and their ability to handle new experiences are more likely to handle life’s complexities with resilience. And a sense of competence and a can-do attitude will pay off in many ways as your son or daughter grows up and takes on life with enthusiasm.
“Our care of the child should be governed, not by the desire to make him learn things, but by the endeavor always to keep burning within him that light which is called intelligence.” Maria Montessori
But how do we foster confidence? Between the Montessori classroom and home, confidence and independence may be built in varying ways.
1. Accepting individuality
One of the best ways for a parent to help a young child to develop a sense of confidence is to simply let the child be himself. Rather than trying to force your son or daughter to do things your way, encourage them as they pursue their interests. By embracing differences we allow children to grow and embrace individuality. A child with a strong sense of who they are as a person, including their passions and strengths, is more likely to be confident than a child who hasn’t developed a strong sense of individuality. In our classroom, students are invited to choose works that spark their curiosity and creativity, to foster their sense of individuality.
2. Making decisions
It’s all too easy to tell a child what to do, but in doing so, we don’t give our child practice in the vital, lifelong skill of decision-making. Even young children can begin to learn the process of thinking through a decision and considering what makes a wise choice. For example, instead of just saying, “pick up those toys,” ask your child why it is a good idea to pick up our things: so they don’t get broken, so no one trips and gets hurt, etc. This gives the child the opportunity to arrive at the “right” conclusion on his own, which teaches him how to think, not what to think.
3. Learning practical skills at a young age
Parents are often tempted to do things for their preschool-aged child rather than giving the child a chance to practice new skills until they master them. But when you do tasks for your child instead of coaching them as they do it themselves, you rob them of the sense of competence. Montessori teachers coach young students in developing not just academic skills, but also practical skills like tying shoes, zipping up coats, and straightening up the classroom — all simple tasks that help children learn they can do things well with enough practice.
4. Keeping up the encouragement
An important element of confidence is a sense that we can pick ourselves back up when we fail, and try again. Failure is often a part of life, especially for preschool-aged children who are learning all sorts of new skills and facts for the first time. When we frame those failures for them in positive terms, it helps them to see that making mistakes and being imperfect are opportunities to learn and grow. Montessori classrooms are designed so that teachers can take time with students one-on-one to offer encouragement, and older students can also offer encouragement and help to younger ones. One of the best ways to help your child to feel good about herself is to teach her to help others. In other words, the best way to feel good is to do good. Show empathy and compassion toward others, and help your child understand that she is not the only person on this planet. Think about how good you felt the last time that you helped someone out. Don’t you want to show your child this sure-fire way to have positive self-esteem?
5. Acknowledging emotions
Resist the temptation to dismiss your child’s emotions—no matter how trivial they seem to you. All emotions are valid, and all emotional experiences are real. Often, young children feel strong emotions that they don’t even know how to name, much less channel. As parents and teachers, we can do much good for our preschoolers by acknowledging, accepting, and talking about emotions in a positive way. Rather than labeling an emotion as good or bad, or ignoring emotions that we don’t like, we can encourage children with the truth — emotions come and go, and they don’t have to be scary.
6. Maintaining boundaries
Preschool aged children benefit greatly from clear, kindly but firmly enforced boundaries. Knowing what is acceptable and what isn’t is important for them, and it enables them to make good choices and feel secure in what is often a confusing, overwhelming world of new information. At home, you can set rules and stick to them — with kindness, of course! In the classroom, we do the same, so children always feel confident that they know how to be a successful student.
7. Impacting their world
From the time your child is very young, it’s a good idea to help them develop a sense of their own ability to make a difference. Children who are given regular opportunities to help others not only develop a sense of confidence and control, but they also develop empathy — a key social skill that will aid them in the classroom, on the sports field, with family and friends, and later on, at work and other adult pursuits. Montessori classrooms teach even the youngest children to impact their world by encouraging them to help each other with tasks like preparing for lunchtime and cleaning up afterwards. It’s simple, but it’s effective.
By embracing differences we allow children to grow and embrace individuality. A child with a strong sense of who they are as a person, including their passions and strengths, is more likely to be confident than a child who hasn’t developed a strong sense of individuality. In our classroom, students are invited to choose works that spark their curiosity and creativity, to foster their sense of individuality.

2. Making decisions

It’s all too easy to tell a child what to do, but in doing so, we don’t give our child practice in the vital, lifelong skill of decision-making. Even young children can begin to learn the process of thinking through a decision and considering what makes a wise choice. For example, instead of just saying, “pick up those toys,” ask your child why it is a good idea to pick up our things: so they don’t get broken, so no one trips and gets hurt, etc. This gives the child the opportunity to arrive at the “right” conclusion on his own, which teaches him how to think, not what to think.

3. Learning practical skills at a young age

Parents are often tempted to do things for their preschool-aged child rather than giving the child a chance to practice new skills until they master them. But when you do tasks for your child instead of coaching them as they do it themselves, you rob them of the sense of competence. Montessori teachers coach young students in developing not just academic skills, but also practical skills like tying shoes, zipping up coats, and straightening up the classroom — all simple tasks that help children learn they can do things well with enough practice.

4. Keeping up the encouragement

An important element of confidence is a sense that we can pick ourselves back up when we fail, and try again. Failure is often a part of life, especially for preschool-aged children who are learning all sorts of new skills and facts for the first time. When we frame those failures for them in positive terms, it helps them to see that making mistakes and being imperfect are opportunities to learn and grow. Montessori classrooms are designed so that teachers can take time with students one-on-one to offer encouragement, and older students can also offer encouragement and help to younger ones. One of the best ways to help your child to feel good about herself is to teach her to help others. In other words, the best way to feel good is to do good. Show empathy and compassion toward others, and help your child understand that she is not the only person on this planet. Think about how good you felt the last time that you helped someone out. Don’t you want to show your child this sure-fire way to have positive self-esteem?

5. Acknowledging emotions

Resist the temptation to dismiss your child’s emotions—no matter how trivial they seem to you. All emotions are valid, and all emotional experiences are real. Often, young children feel strong emotions that they don’t even know how to name, much less channel. As parents and teachers, we can do much good for our preschoolers by acknowledging, accepting, and talking about emotions in a positive way. Rather than labeling an emotion as good or bad, or ignoring emotions that we don’t like, we can encourage children with the truth — emotions come and go, and they don’t have to be scary.

6. Maintaining boundaries

Preschool aged children benefit greatly from clear, kindly but firmly enforced boundaries. Knowing what is acceptable and what isn’t is important for them, and it enables them to make good choices and feel secure in what is often a confusing, overwhelming world of new information. At home, you can set rules and stick to them — with kindness, of course! In the classroom, we do the same, so children always feel confident that they know how to be a successful student.

7. Impacting their world

From the time your child is very young, it’s a good idea to help them develop a sense of their own ability to make a difference. Children who are given regular opportunities to help others not only develop a sense of confidence and control, but they also develop empathy — a key social skill that will aid them in the classroom, on the sports field, with family and friends, and later on, at work and other adult pursuits. Montessori classrooms teach even the youngest children to impact their world by encouraging them to help each other with tasks like preparing for lunchtime and cleaning up afterwards. It’s simple, but it’s effective.